Why I don’t decorate my room

By Natalie Chiu

If you go into my room, this is what you’ll see. A big, blank, wall. Now, the question that people often ask when they see this big, blank, wall, is “Why don’t you put something up?” Let me just tell you, if I earned a pound every time I heard that question, I’d probably be as rich as Beyonce. Okay, maybe I am exaggerating just a tad bit, but you get the gist.

To all you people who question my choice in deciding to not decorate my room, here is what I have to say; if I wished to decorate my room, I think I would have done so by now. I mean, considering that we have been through about 25 weeks of school (which is equivalent to 175 days, if you were wondering), and I still haven’t decorated my room, it’s safe to say that I will not be decorating my room.
“Why don’t you want to decorate your room?!” One would then ask, rather annoyingly. You know, it does surprise me how many people seem genuinely worried about the fact that I don’t decorate my room. I appreciate your concern for me but my gosh, it’s not like I’m trying to invade Poland or something.
Anyways, the reason that I do not decorate my room is simply because I find it a bit, unnecessary. Actually, I find it very unnecessary. I don’t really believe in pictures, or plants, or just random tchotchkes. What is the point? Now I don’t mean what is the point of life, because that’s another article for another time, but what’s the point of decorating if I don’t like any forms of decorations? It’s like my view on hobbies (and if you haven’t read my enlightening article on hobbies I encourage you to do so for you’ll realise my tremendous, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, talent for ranting about pointless things), why decorate your room if decorating your room doesn’t bring you joy? Marie Kondo, is a Japanese organizing guru (you must admit it’s amazing what people consider to be a job nowadays. Bravo world, bravo) and she claims that the art of decluttering is if it doesn’t bring you joy, get rid of it. No joy, goodbye unnecessary tchotchke.
So, why should I spend my time putting up random posters or taking care of plants, when I get no joy out of it? Besides, it’s all just going to be a distraction. One moment you’ll be trying to write your English essay and then you turn your head and you see a unnecessarily giant poster of Zac Efron’s rather large head. No joy, goodbye unnecessarily large picture of Zac Efron.
But you know what does bring me joy? My beautiful, big, blank, wall. So please, nobody ask my why I don’t decorate my room, because people like you bring me no joy and therefore, I have no choice to ask you to leave my delightful, undecorated room.Who

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